3.5/5
內容Content
立場和描述都有到位，兩張圖和理想公園都寫到了。只是理由偏直線、例子不夠具體，說服力還差一截——這也是你比較容易輕輕帶過的地方。
下一步一個理由配一個具體例子或影響
F · O · L · I · O
報告系統 by FOLIO
學測英文作文閱卷報告
本次總分
12.5
/ 20
中等表現 ・ 目前約 12-14 分
01
一、成績與進步方向
整體講評
這篇整體讀起來是通順的，組織是這次最穩的一塊——兩段先描述圖片、再講理想公園，分工清楚，段落之間也接得上。這正是你一路練下來、進步最明顯的地方，繼續保持。
接下來把力氣收在兩個你一直比較卡的方向：一是把句子寫穩、少一點小錯，這次單複數、動詞變化這類基礎錯誤還是偏多；二是用字再豐富一點，你的用詞一向偏保守，換上更到位的說法，整篇的英文感會立刻不一樣。盯著這兩塊練，起色會最快、也最有感。
→把基礎語法寫穩、養成檢查習慣
→第二段的理由再具體、有層次
→用字跳出基礎詞、往精準與變化走
4/5
組織Organization
這是你這次表現最好、也進步最明顯的一塊。兩段先描述圖片、再寫理想公園，分工清楚、順序明確，讀起來跟得上。保持這個節奏，再讓段落內部更有層次就更好。
下一步每段先總述、再分點展開
2.5/5
文法Grammar
句子的正確度還不夠穩，單複數、動詞形式、代名詞常出小錯，會拉低整篇印象。這一塊你一路以來始終比較不穩，先求把句子寫對、養成寫完檢查一遍的習慣，最容易看到分數回來。
下一步寫完回頭檢查單複數與動詞
2.5/5
字彙Vocabulary
用字看得懂，但偏簡單、來來去去同幾個詞，還有幾個拼字要注意。你用字一直偏保守，可以放心換上更自然、更到位的搭配。
下一步換上 natural scenery、open space 這類自然搭配
把例子和影響補上，不要只點到為止
你經常是「理由有了、例子不完整」。每個理由後面補一個具體畫面或影響，說服力才夠。
先練這句：A good park should not only have beautiful scenery, but also give people a place to exercise and relax.
維持兩段清楚分工，每段先總述再分點
針對你這次最穩的組織，下一步是讓每段內部也有層次：先點主旨，再依序展開。
先練這句：First, I would like a park with open space. Second, it should have many trees so people can enjoy both activity and peace.
先把基礎句子寫穩
先顧最容易出小錯的基本句子，盯緊單複數、動詞變化與主詞一致，養成寫完檢查一遍的習慣。
先練這句：The park is covered with trees, and it needs a large open space where children can play.
讓用字更自然
少用直譯式詞語，換上更自然、可重複用的搭配，字彙分數會慢慢起來。
先練這句：People can take a walk, enjoy the natural scenery, and feel calm and comfortable.
02
二、作文修正對照
錯誤詞
正確寫法
From the two picture→pictures, we can see two diffrent→different kinds of park. In picture A, there is a big playground with many amusement facilitys→facilities for children. Many kids are playing happyly→happily on the slides and the swings, so this park is always full of energy and laughter. In picture B, the park is cover by→covered with tall green trees and looks very peacefull→peaceful. There are no noisy machines there, only the sound of birds and the wind, so people can take a walk or just sit down and relax their self→themselves.
As for me, my ideal park should combine this→these two features. First, it need→needs a large open space where children can run and play freely with their friends. Second, it should also have many trees and a small lake, which make→makes people feel calm and comfortable. I think a good park is not only for excercise→exercise but also for rest. If there is such a park near my home, I will go there every weekend to enjoy the nature and forget the presure→pressure from my school life.
two + 複數名詞；指兩張圖時 picture 要用複數 pictures。
例：two cars
例：the two books
例：two cars
例：the two books
常見拼字：different 不是 diffrent。
例：different ideas
例：a different way
例：different ideas
例：a different way
名詞複數字尾 -y 變 -ies：facility → facilities。
例：party → parties
例：family → families
例：party → parties
例：family → families
形容詞轉副詞時，字尾子音 + y 先將 y 改 i 再加 -ly：happy → happily。
例：smile happily
例：work happily
例：smile happily
例：work happily
be + 過去分詞表示被動／狀態；被樹木、雪等覆蓋慣用 be covered with。
例：is covered with snow
例：was covered with leaves
例：is covered with snow
例：was covered with leaves
常見拼字：peaceful 只有一個 l。
例：a peaceful place
例：peaceful music
例：a peaceful place
例：peaceful music
反身代名詞複數用 themselves；they/them → themselves。
例：They enjoyed themselves.
例：People should help themselves.
例：They enjoyed themselves.
例：People should help themselves.
this 接單數、these 接複數名詞；two features 用 these。
例：these two books
例：these ideas
例：these two books
例：these ideas
主詞為第三人稱單數，現在式動詞加 -s：it needs。
例：He needs help.
例：The park needs more trees.
例：He needs help.
例：The park needs more trees.
which 引導的動詞要跟先行詞一致；單數先行詞 (a small lake) 用 makes。
例：a machine which makes noise
例：the rule which makes sense
例：a machine which makes noise
例：the rule which makes sense
常見拼字：exercise 不是 excercise。
例：do exercise
例：morning exercise
例：do exercise
例：morning exercise
常見拼字：pressure 有兩個 s。
例：under pressure
例：a lot of pressure
例：under pressure
例：a lot of pressure
03
三、範文參考
本次成績與練習目標
目前 12.5 / 20
12.5
/ 20
練習目標 16 / 20
16
/ 20
可進步 +3.5
| 項目 | 目前 | 練習目標 |
|---|---|---|
| 內容 | ||
| 組織 | ||
| 文法 | ||
| 字彙 |
＊依大考中心級分標準估算的練習目標。下方範文示範接下來可以練習的寫法。
底線是可以直接學起來、下次照用的高分寫法。
The two pictures show two different kinds of parks. In picture A, there is a large playground with many amusement facilities for children. Kids are playing happily on the slides and swings, so the park is full of energy and laughter. In picture B, the park is covered with tall green trees and looks very peaceful. There are no noisy machines there, only the sound of birds and the wind, so people can take a walk or sit down and relax themselves.
As for me, my ideal park should combine these two features. First, it should have a large open space where children can run and play freely with their friends. Second, it should also have many trees and a small lake, which can make people feel calm and comfortable. I think a good park is not only for exercise, but also for rest and communication. If there were such a park near my home, I would go there every weekend to enjoy nature and forget the pressure from school life.
值得收藏的好句
從上面範文挑出來，好背、下次也最容易再用上。
be full of energy and laughter
充滿活力與笑聲
The place is full of energy and laughter.
這個地方充滿活力與笑聲。
be covered with
被……覆蓋
The park is covered with trees / snow / flowers.
這座公園被樹木／白雪／花朵覆蓋。
take a walk
散步
People can take a walk and enjoy the scenery.
人們可以在這裡散步、欣賞風景。
feel calm and comfortable
感到平靜又舒適
A quiet place can make people feel calm and comfortable.
安靜的地方能讓人感到平靜又舒適。
combine these two features
結合這兩種特色
My ideal place should combine these two features.
我理想中的地方應該結合這兩種特色。
not only A, but also B
不僅……而且……
A good park is not only for exercise, but also for rest.
好的公園不僅能運動，也能休息。
open space
空曠空間
It should have a large open space for children to play.
它應該有一個寬敞的空間讓孩子玩耍。
forget the pressure from school life
忘掉課業壓力
I can go there to relax and forget the pressure from school life.
我可以去那裡放鬆，忘掉課業壓力。
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